I’m not an exhibitionist. And while I enjoy sex, I’m not into anything out there or over-the-top.
Which is why I was surprised to find myself, a few weeks ago, having sex with my husband while a group of strangers watched.
So how did it come to this?
Out on a dinner date out a few weeks ago, my partner and I were cruising around the streets with a post-meal ice cream when we came across Sydney’s Couples Club.
Curious, we Googled it when we got home to see what that discreet unmarked door was hiding.
Turns out, it’s a sex club and its monthly First Time Friday night was coming up. On a whim, we decided to check it out.
It felt like less pressure to visit during a time when we wouldn’t be the only ones who had never done anything like this before.
To swing, or not to swing?
We didn’t necessarily go with the intention of swinging, swapping partners or even “playing” (as the site described) with others – we were just curious and keen to explore something sexually new.
We love visiting strip clubs together (who doesn’t love a gorgeous woman dancing around?) so we knew we’d be comfortable with nudity, but laid out a few ground rules before we went.
For us, we decided if we felt like it, we would be game to have sex in front of others. We weren’t up for letting others join though, and agreed if it was something either of us wanted to do in the moment, we could talk about it afterwards and go back for another visit to possibly pursue.
Our first First Time Friday
The Friday finally rolled around, and I had a glass of wine while getting ready for the evening.
I put on a new set of Agent Provocateur lingerie and sent a selfie to my BFF (who is a psychologist and was also super curious to hear about our experience) before we grabbed a bottle of champagne and hopped in an Uber — the club is BYOB, but there’s a bar you bring your alcohol to so a bartender can serve it to you.
As soon as we arrived, we were buzzing. After climbing three flights of red carpeted stairs, were reached the entrance where we were told the house rules: simply approach others you’re interested in, but if they put up a palm, it signals “no”, and vice versa.
Other than that, the jacuzzi, outdoor terrace and play room were our proverbial oyster.
Setting the mood
We headed to the bar to have a glass or two of champagne first and take in the scene. Several screens showed various porn movies, there was a stripper pole in the middle of the room, and the bartender was in fishnets and underwear.
Several other couples were hanging around the bar, and within moments, a woman was bent over and being spanked. It was more humorous than sexy, and everyone seemed to be trying really hard to look natural and comfortable.
As we finished our drinks, a dancer entered and cleared the room to perform a striptease on the pole.
An older man loudly whooped and yelled throughout the entire performance, but it wasn’t anything crazy and we decided we wanted to go downstairs to see more.
Several open yet separate rooms had various beds and couches scattered about, and most were occupied with couples having sex or several people tangled up in each other.
Props like whips and paddles decorated the rooms, and there were attachments against some walls to tie someone up with.
Our turn
My partner and I saw a small, empty room containing one small bed and looked at each other and shrugged. “Why the hell not?” we thought.
I jumped on top, and during the time were we in there, a steady stream of people approached to try and join or just watch.
For me, I wasn’t particularly turned on by that, but wasn’t bothered either as obviously it came with the territory.
The verdict
After we got dressed and left, we agreed we were glad we went (and came), but did it more for a good story than it being something either of us were really into.
Every person and couple has their own preferences and fetishes, and if exploring with others is your thing, it’s definitely worth checking out.
Last spring my husband and I were looking for an adults-only vacation to celebrate our tenth anniversary. I came across a “clothing optional lifestyle takeover cruise.” The materials talked about dance parties, clothing-optional areas, and playrooms, including a dungeon. We assumed “lifestyle” meant BDSM. It was only after we’d booked the trip that we realized it meant swingers. We figured we could still go, even though we didn’t plan to participate.
Leading up to the cruise, though, we got to know some of the other couples online and began to change our minds. It started with talk of me being interested in playing with other women and evolved into “Let’s just go for it and enjoy all this cruise has to offer.”
We really didn’t know what to expect when we got there, and were definitely surprised. Some people were completely nude, some just topless, some in tiny outfits, and some fully clothed. We kept our swimsuits on. No one seemed to mind, or even notice, what anyone else was or wasn’t wearing.
The first evening there was a toga/gods/goddesses party. My husband dressed as a Roman gladiator and I made a toga out of a sheer purple fabric. We danced with a couple we’d chatted with online, who were in white togas. We didn’t get naked, but there was some flashing and roaming hands. My husband and I are “full swap,” which means that we are okay with penetrative sex with other people, but their rules were stricter than ours.. They do not kiss or have penetrative sex with others.
After the dance club closed, we all went to the 24-hour outdoor play area. There were beds spaced about every six feet with small tables between them. We all went to one bed and started by getting undressed and making out with our own partners. Soon I felt the woman’s hand caressing my breast as I was kissing my husband. Then her husband, while still kissing her, started to finger me.
At one point my husband went to the restroom. While he was gone, the other guy went down on his wife while I kissed her and played with her breasts. Then we shifted and I went down on him while she went down on me. When my husband came back, he watched for a minute, then joined us.
The atmosphere of the cruise made us more open to trying new things.
After a little while, I started giving my husband head while the other couple had sex. He’d had a lot to drink and to his dismay wasn’t getting hard. We tried a couple times, but it wasn’t going to happen. We played a little while the other couple finished up, and then we all went to the hot tubs.
The atmosphere of the cruise made us more open to trying new things. Throughout the week, we had two more play sessions with other couples, including a six-way group session with the same couple from the first night.
There has to be some physical attraction when we decide who to play with, but the connection we form with a couple is the bigger factor. We want to play with people who are fun and stable in their relationship. We have a very low tolerance for drama. Since we play only as a couple, there has to be a four-way match in terms of attraction.
One day we were talking to a couple and the woman stripped down to nothing but a smile and just kept on chatting. This was very awkward for us, but we tried not to let it show. Ten minutes later, her husband stripped down too. He suggested that we do the same, but we declined. He asked us about making a playdate, and I told him that I didn’t think we had the four-way match we needed for us to be comfortable. For the rest of the week she was cordial when we’d run into them, but he wouldn’t even say hello to us. I felt bad for possibly leading him on. Unfortunately, that’s the way it goes sometimes.
Before the trip, I thought swingers were people who would have sex with any random person. But those we’ve met want the same thing that we want: friendship with like-minded couples, and if we happen to have fun in sexual ways from time to time, that’s a bonus.
Now we play with others about once a month. Unfortunately, there is not a single lifestyle club in the entire state where we live. We play only as a couple and only together in the same room. We like to be within reach so we can play and talk to each other at the same time. It’s about group play, not just swapping partners.
Condoms are a must. We both have veto power, meaning that if there is a man I want to play with, my hubby can say no at any time for any reason and it will not happen, whether he’s not comfortable with the guy or isn’t interested in playing with his wife. We rarely play at our house, but if we do it is only with a couple we know really well, and never in our bed—that is only for us.
We talk to several couples we met on the cruise on a weekly basis. One we’ve become really good friends with, and we get together often with our kids. We do the same things other families do but sometimes, after the kids are in bed, we lock the door and get naked. Sometimes we start with a dinner date and drinks, or just hang out with the kids until they’re all asleep. We might play a game like sexy dice or watch a movie with sexual undertones.
We haven’t had a successful session yet with another couple where we both had penetrative sex. My husband overthinks it and can’t maintain an erection. We have talked to several other men in the lifestyle and they all said that it is very common in the beginning, especially if you’ve been exclusively with your partner for a long time.
Neither of us have any romantic feelings for our play partners at all, but we do see them as friends. There are definitely people we are attracted to, both mentally and physically, but romance and love are just for us.
Other than the couple that we said no to on the cruise, no one has ever made us uncomfortable. We have been asked to do things that we have rules against. For example, there is a couple who generally play separately, but we play only as a couple. We’ve made this clear to them. We still talk to them and joke around; we just know that we won’t be play partners and that’s okay.
Swinging has helped our sex life, because after a night of playing with others we always come back and talk about the experience and have really hot sex with each other during the conversation. I don’t know if we will stay in the lifestyle forever, but we are definitely having fun for now.
In recent years, erotic photography has gone from being the center of eroticism to being something for the few, almost disappearing from radars and internet searches.
Few know or conceive, but there is a strong difference between sensual and erotic photography. While the first we can define as alluring, something that makes you want to be conquered, the second leaves the viewer to imagine what he could do with that body, flying mainly on fantasy.
But if you love taking erotic photos, what are the poses that will highlight your femininity the most, will create desire and, let’s not lie, help hide those flaws that we all have? Here are the 10 best poses to make every man who watches your content melt.
1 – Open Legs
Let’s point out straight away that we are talking about erotic photography. Legs open does not mean wide open with the ankles behind the ears.
It is a position of invitation and availability that is transmitted to the spectator and which brings together the elements of provocation and an irresistible appeal towards any man with sufficient visual capabilities.
2 – Crossed Legs
If having your legs slightly open is a sexual appeal, having your legs crossed is no less so. In this way your legs are put on display which transmit the desire to touch and caress them.
You will also drive all foot lovers crazy. It is a photo that allows you to better set the position of the rest of the body and use it to send further messages and characterize the photo.
A drink, some glasses, smoking (it’s bad for you, avoid), a flower or even a slice of pizza. Try different ones.
3 – Scissor Legs
This pose creates a triangle inside your legs and is called scissor pose because your legs do not have to be aligned.
One leg must be completely, or almost completely, extended and the other must be more curled up. In the photograph it firms the buttock, highlighting it and noticeably lengthens the body.
Try this position in different situations and lights to get the effect you want.
4 – Waterfalling
It is a very difficult type of photo to take, although it may seem the opposite, and requires the ability to maintain the position while appearing absolutely relaxed.
However, the result will be amazing and will highlight the entire expressiveness of the body.
The lingerie, with an elegant dressing gown, with a teddy bear in your arms or whatever. An intriguing, satisfied, transgressive or innocent gaze.
This pose is one of those that, like few others, can communicate everything you want.
5 – The “h” letter
In this pose the legs should take on what looks to all intents and purposes like a letter “h”.
One leg extended and the other bent forward.
The advantage of this pose is that it will highlight your entire profile, slimming it down and making it passionately irresistible.
6 – Teasing
In many photos and poses, only the body often lets the body speak. In the game of provocation, however, this is just an outline behind a look that must say everything.
The message that must be conveyed is “but what would you do to a beautiful girl like me?” or a simpler “I’m waiting for you”.
7 – Letter “M”
It is a position apparently similar to that of open legs. But in this case the knees must be higher than the pelvis.
This position lengthens the legs, stretches them and makes the torso always proportionate to the body of the image.
8 – The Arch
This is “the” position in which the body arches and leans on something to highlight its shape and make the spectator imagine being able to almost touch it entirely.
For the image to work you have to arch your back and bring your ass out a little further, in order to convey the idea of being ready and available.
9 – The B-Side
I would have liked to call this pose something more artistic, but basically we are talking about the simplest and most widespread pose found on social media.
It’s about showing off your back side, arching your back slightly, standing on tiptoe a bit to lengthen and relax your legs (it also hardens the buttock) and turning towards the camera with a determined look.
10 – Hungry Girl
Nothing stimulates the male erotic fantasy more than a hungry woman slowly walking towards him to do what she has decided (and which he won’t mind at all).
Expressiveness is very important, with eyes and mouth half-closed, rigid shoulders and a pose that tells the story of the movement.
A part of anal play or anal sex, analingus involves the mouth coming into contact erotically with an anus to kiss, suck, or lick it.
he act is also known as ‘rimming’ and can be received or performed by absolutely anyone, regardless of gender, sex, or sexual orientation (or lack thereof).
Essentially, if you and your partner have a butt (anus) and mouth between you both and want to try this out, it’s possible!
Contrary to what some folks say, analingus isn’t just an activity for gay men.
As we mentioned above, the only thing necessary to perform or receive a rim job is a mouth and an anus, respectively.
As well, it’s important to note that rimming is safe to enjoy (for the most part). Like any sexual activity, there are some things that you should keep in mind, which we talk about more below.
Remember, while rimming can certainly be foreplay to anal sex, it does not mean that it has to be anything more than a standalone act for any additional sexual activity.
As part of analingus, you may want to experiment with licking the outer cheeks and moving inward towards the anus, sucking gently with gradually quickening speeds on the asshole, or kissing upwards from the perineum (the spot between the anus and vulva or scrotum) to the asshole.
Because you’re dealing with the anus, cleanliness is vital to prevent the spread of bacteria.
Some digestive bacteria and parasites can transfer through this area, including E. coli and Salmonella, which should be avoided ingesting at all costs.
Likewise, certain sexually transmitted infections can spread through the anus, including herpes, gonorrhea, genital warts, hepatitis A and B, and syphilis.
Thankfully, the use of a dental dam can help prevent the spread of STIs.
Very often we are asked or find questions in the forums about what are the signs that could make you understand if a couple is a swinger or willing to explore new horizons sexually.
Contrary to popular thoughts that there are no signs or symbols that swingers use to attract different swingers, in many cases, it appears that a few people are continually searching for a systematic approach to check out whether a friend, neighbor or colleague is a swinger.
So, yes, there are swinger symbols that the swinging community uses to attract other potential partners. This is also supported by the fact that because a swinger will have sex with someone else outside their primary relationship doesn’t necessary mean that they’ll have intercourse with whoever just goes along, when in fact swingers are just as picky as any other individual in the society about who they’re attracted to and who they’ll have sex with. Much the same as the joke: “Yes, I’m polyamorous. No, I won’t engage in sexual relations with you.” the same can be said for swingers: “Yes, I’m a swinger. No, I won’t engage in sexual relations with you.”
Popular urban legends that are hinted as typical swinger symbols
Pampas grass in the front yard garden
Pink or purple decorations in the front yard
Pineapple placed upside down in a shopping cart
A pineapple door knocker
A fire pit in the yard
A hot tub in the yard
A woman wears an anklet on her right leg
A woman wears an anklet on her left leg
A man or woman wearing a red ball cap
White landscaping rocks in someone’s front yard
Wearing a thumb ring
Wearing a toe ring
Switching the wedding ring to the right hand
Yin-Yang tattoo
1) Pineapples: A Swinging Good Time?
They do say nobody realizes what goes on behind closed doors – but, is your neighbor sending out secret clues that they’re into swinging? The pineapple throughout the ages has represented charming hospitality and enthusiastic welcoming. A pineapple when kept on a patio or mailbox by swingers, it implies that a swinger party is underway. When a pineapple is turned upside down, it represents an individual is looking for a swinger party. However, initially, it was turned upside down in the people’s shopping basket. The popularity of the upside down pineapple has made it acceptable for clothes and different other items as a secret message in the swinging community. Swingers utilize this symbol to recognize each other in broad daylight. Evidently, a pineapple left on the front entryway amidst the night is (in the modern time) really a bold request or a cheerful welcome for the swingers to join in!
2) Pampas grass
Yes, Pampas Grass has earned itself a long relationship with swingers, according to an article published in the Daily Telegraph. Scientifically called Cortaderia selloana, the grass is the secret code which indicates its owner appreciates the alternative lifestyle of swinging. Unfortunately, in the case of Pampas grass, there is such mind-bending publicity, which resulted in plummeting sales in recent years. Let the charm and temptation of swinging intrigue to you, proceed and knock on the Pampas Grass owner’s door next time – just make sure to be accompanied by your partner.
3) The Polyamourous Symbol
There is a lot of confusion here because wearing a polyamorous symbol certainly does not mean that the person is part of the world of swinging. But it is certainly a sign that denotes a certain open-mindedness.
4) A black ring on the right hand
It seems that swingers even have their own secret accessories- which are helpful when trying to recognize a fellow swinger or people who enjoy this alternative lifestyle. As per Cooper Beckett, host of the Life on the Swingset Podcast, numerous couples are out there who wear a black ring to secretly imply that they are into swinging. He even wrote in an article publishes in the Daily Telegraph: “Wear your black ring on your right hand in the event that you are out and open to meet other swingers.” In that article, he even helpfully guided on the most proficient way to break the ice in case you identify a fellow swinger in broad daylight. “On the off chance that somebody wearing a dark ring on their right-hand approaches you, start conversing with them, ‘I see you’re wearing a black ring on your right hand. Possibly we are the members of the same club’.”
5) Garden gear and home decorations
Next time you run out of sugar and need to knock your next door neighbor, ensure you carefully observe his/her choice of garden gear and home decorations. Pineapples as well, evidently, when placed in the form of door knockers secretly suggest that your neighbor is a swinger. Oh, and garden gnomes may appear tasteless but ironically they’re kitsch and honest. Because these are the secret codes that signal Mr. and Mrs. might request that you put your car keys in a glass bowl.
6) Hot Tubs
Having a hot tub in the garden is likewise acclaimed for being a typical swinger mentality. In any case, as indicated in an article in The Sun and later in the New York Post by Ross Phillipson, Sales chief at Hot Tubs Superstore in Blackpool, this has currently transformed into a legend. He clarified: “The greatest confusion is that hot tubs are the preserve of swingers, liberal Premiership footballers or flashy types who live in Essex. Truth be told, they are purchased by anybody and everybody.” Another sign is that your neighbor will never open their garage entryway until they’re in the car with the doors shut
7) Wristbands
In the not so distant past, these were extremely popular, with individuals gladly brandishing wristbands to secretly demonstrate their swinging aims. Well, “Charity begins at home” – and hence, swingers have likewise reportedly got their own branded wristbands. These wristbands have an extraordinary “sign” which, along with to the black rings, were made to enable swingers to identify each other potentially. It is also unpretentious and respects the privacy of the individual who wears it. What you have to pay special attention to, are the universal male and female signs organized horizontally with their circles crossing, with three plus signs on the two sides.
8) Anklet The hidden message
Albeit numerous women nowadays may think about the anklet is only a minor tinkle, it really and in generally symbolizes that a woman is married or committed to her partner/husband/lover yet available to other men for sexual adventures with the partner’s/husband’s consent and encouragement. They are usually referred as a “hotwife”. At the point when a married lady wears an anklet, it implies that she is open to relationships and sexual adventures with men other than her partner/husband. In the event that the anklet contains heart images, it implies the wife is committed to her significant other yet free to date other men and have sexual relationships with mutual benefits. If the anklet contains the letter Q and the spade symbol, sometimes accompanied with a tattoo of a playing card and the letter Q inside, it usually means that the wife has a sexual preference for black men.
