Among the most widespread erotic dreams in the male world, in adulthood, is that of a relationship with a young, sexy, attractive secretary, who tends to be a nymphomaniac.
This fantasy is partly due to the cinematographic representation of the 80s in which actresses (every country had their characters) knew how to perfectly interpret the part, but also because the dynamics of the relationship is particular and places the male in an advantageous situation.
First of all, because the secretary is subordinate to her role (and this helps to feel less insecure and less judged) and also because the girl’s availability is practically “always available” in environments and situations that are far from their family situations.
To hang out with a lover in the evening requires many excuses, but having sex during working hours is certainly less problematic.
Furthermore, the idea of โโhaving a beautiful woman, always horny, in the office helps us make that place, in our imagination, more livable and which would place us in a condition of envy on the part of other colleagues.
Oh yesโฆ men are definitely more sexually insecure than women, but it would be stupid to argue otherwise !!
And why not go back to playing as a couple by repeating the situation of the boss who treats his partner like a secretary?
Know that it is certainly an extremely welcome game for them!
Iโm not an exhibitionist. And while I enjoy sex, Iโm not into anything out there or over-the-top.
Which is why I was surprised to find myself, a few weeks ago,ย having sexย with my husband while a group of strangers watched.
So how did it come to this?
Out on a dinner date out a few weeks ago, my partner and I were cruising around the streets with a post-mealย ice creamย when we came across Sydneyโsย Couples Club.
Curious, we Googled it when we got home to see what that discreet unmarked door was hiding.
Turns out, itโs aย sex clubย and its monthly First Time Friday night was coming up. On a whim, we decided to check it out.
It felt like less pressure to visit during a time when we wouldnโt be the only ones who had never done anything like this before.
To swing, or not to swing?
We didnโt necessarily go with the intention of swinging, swapping partners or even โplayingโ (as the site described) with others – we were just curious and keen to explore something sexually new.
We love visitingย strip clubsย together (who doesnโt love a gorgeous woman dancing around?) so we knew weโd be comfortable with nudity, but laid out a few ground rules before we went.
For us, we decided if we felt like it, we would be game to have sex in front of others. We werenโt up for letting others join though, and agreed if it was something either of us wanted to do in the moment, we could talk about it afterwards and go back for another visit to possibly pursue.
Our first First Time Friday
The Friday finally rolled around, and I had a glass of wine while getting ready for the evening.
I put on a new set of Agent Provocateur lingerie and sent a selfie to my BFF (who is a psychologist and was also super curious to hear about our experience) before we grabbed a bottle of champagne and hopped in an Uber โ the club is BYOB, but thereโs a bar you bring your alcohol to so a bartender can serve it to you.
As soon as we arrived, we were buzzing. After climbing three flights of red carpeted stairs, were reached the entrance where we were told the house rules: simply approach others youโre interested in, but if they put up a palm, it signals โnoโ, and vice versa.
Other than that, the jacuzzi, outdoor terrace and play room were our proverbial oyster.
Setting the mood
We headed to the bar to have a glass or two of champagne first and take in the scene. Several screens showed variousย porn movies, there was a stripper pole in the middle of the room, and the bartender was in fishnets and underwear.
Several other couples were hanging around the bar, and within moments, a woman was bent over and being spanked. It was more humorous than sexy, and everyone seemed to be trying really hard to look natural and comfortable.
As we finished our drinks, a dancer entered and cleared the room to perform a striptease on the pole.
An older man loudly whooped and yelled throughout the entire performance, but it wasnโt anything crazy and we decided we wanted to go downstairs to see more.
Several open yet separate rooms had various beds and couches scattered about, and most were occupied with couples having sex or several people tangled up in each other.
Props like whips and paddles decorated the rooms, and there were attachments against some walls to tie someone up with.
Our turn
My partner and I saw a small, empty room containing one small bed and looked at each other and shrugged. โWhy the hell not?โ we thought.
I jumped on top, and during the time were we in there, a steady stream of people approached to try and join or just watch.
For me, I wasnโt particularly turned on by that, but wasnโt bothered either as obviously it came with the territory.
The verdict
After we got dressed and left, we agreed we were glad we went (and came), but did it more for a good story than it being something either of us were really into.
Every person and couple has their own preferences and fetishes, and if exploring with others is your thing, itโs definitely worth checking out.
โWell, everything starts with my wife Irene โ my muse and the guardian of our home comfort. With all these years of marriage behind, Iโm still into her. And Iโve started admiring her body even more, having by now studied it better than the one of mine. We make a perfect match in bed, both of us are always satisfied. Yet I have never thought it is bad sex that kindles desire for new people.
When my business partner Eric started seducing me, I thought Iโd just turn it into another secret date that Irene would never know about โ the way I was doing in previous relationships. But something there stopped me. Probably they were the soft eyes of Beth, his wife. I wouldn’t want these eyes to look at me with anger and reproach. And I decided my sex with Eric shall happen only if Beth either approves it or joins us in.
First proposal
It took me some time to think it over. My desire to Eric was still there without ebbing, so one day I took my chance. I said I wanted to have sex with him and his wife. Eric smiled back and replied: โBut first this shall be you and Beth. I want you to be my gift to her. And I want you to present me with Ireneโ. These words made me feel choky. The fantasy of coming as a present to my friendโs wife was the most effective aphrodisiac for me. I was looking at Eric with appreciation, though nothing has happened yet. Because his idea was much better than the one I had.
I knew that arranging a threesome or a quad was not an easy task at all. Where two can find common ground, a third one may come with some nuances. While the proposed decision was brilliant. We start with sex in two; and if we make a match, we can play further on.
This is what actually happened. Beth was shy until her first coming. But this impaired neither sex nor the orgasm. As to Eric and Irene, I donโt know how things happened between them. I remember myself talking her into this first try; her initial respond was indignation and she would not talk to me for a couple of hours. But then she changed it into curious looking at Eric during our joint dinners. Eric and I, we are partners in running a restaurant and thus we sometimes dine together, the two families.
Second offer
I donโt know when she changed her mind; I guess this happened when I was away. But one day she told me about her date with Eric. She said she enjoyed it. I was glad to hear this. It was a different kind of excitement, not the same I felt the moment I was offering my best friend to her. And it occurred to me that what aroused me most was the process of proposing something new, daring and unusual. And so I took the next step: suggested we should have sex in four. Irene agreed at the drop of the hat. This time I did not have to persuade her into.
The next day I made the same proposal to Beth and Eric.
Arrangement details
I shall mention here the issue that may seem boring, but for me this was an essential point. All of us had our tests before the Night. This made us wait a little bit for the event so longed for, but on the other hand it gave us some extra time to think over the details. The dating was arranged in our house. We donโt have children and thus thereโs no need to keep to bedroom sex only.
In order to avoid eventual awkwardness of the nightโ starting point we prepared some erotic games. It was rather easy now that Irene is an expert in event management. Of course she does not have orgies listed in her professional track record, but she knows the ropes in managing groups of non-structured people. We didnโt play the spin bottle or strip poker or anything of the kind. Right from the start we followed the dark side of our desires. Each of the four was fulfilling desires of other participants in plain sight. The desires had been listed beforehand, we broke them down into three categories: pleasing, exciting, igniting.
First experience continues
Iโm not here to describe the process proper, I would only say we enjoyed it. We proceed dating in four, and we plan taking joint trip to a swingersโ resort. Sometimes a two of our four meet alone. No one keeps record of these dates. When in secret, things become even more spicy.
We have planned a joint holiday to meet new couples looking to swing. We are interested in learning other swingers. But since we are people of name in our hometown, extra attention is not something we want.
Arenโt soft swing couples
Weโve been in contact with other swingers on forums and inย apps for swingers, and they told us we are nowhere near toย soft swing couplesย that we used to refer ourselves to. We thought that soft swing implies occasional dates with one and the same couple. While real swinging stands for multiple couples, meetings always in four and leaving no space for sex in two. But it turned out that soft swing stands for two couples having sex in one room without partners swapping. Seems strange โcos I think this is just usual public sex. I mean, if a couple makes love in park you cannot call itย soft swing. But anyway, since we practice partners swapping and in general arrange ourselves in intricate combinations that feature four people we are cool, hard swingers. Seems funny. But now I know for sure thatย soft swing couplesย are not our match J โ. ย
John.
This story prompts us to experiments and introduces new ideas to the dreams that we already have. This is why we love reading about fulfillment of somebody elseโs fantasies.
A threesome, also known as a trio or mรฉnage ร trois (French for a household of three), is when three people have sex together. It’s not the same as group sex, which generally refers to sex acts involving four or more people at the same time. The way people feel about threesomes varies widely based on their experiences, ideas they have about sex, and cultural influences. While the idea is exciting for some, it’s scary or unappealing to others. Understanding the dynamics of a healthy three-way, and the potential risks and benefits, can help you decide whether you might be interested in trying one or if this type of sexual exploration isn’t for you.
Having a threesome for the first time often starts with a fantasy. Have you been dreaming about having sex with two people at the same time? There are a couple of things to consider. Do you have a partner who is interested in having a threesome? Or do you want to join a couple? And how do you go about asking for a threesome? If you want to make your fantasy come true, weโve got a couple of good tips for you to make your first threesome experience a great success.
First time threesome: talk about it with your partner
Be open about your fantasies with your partner. If you want to experience a threesome for the first time and you want to do this with your partner, then tell them. It can be scary if you donโt know how your partner feels about it and what their reaction will be. Be clear about why you want a threesome: is it a one-time bucketlist experience or do you want to make your sex life more exciting? Explain your reasons well and ask your partner how they feel about having a threesome. Talk about the advantages, but also about the concerns. If your partner says no, respect their decision and let it rest for now. I say โfor nowโ because sometimes your lover simply needs some time to get used to the idea.
Heineken Threesome Commercial “Share one with your friend”
Where do you find partners for a threesome?
Whether youโre looking for one or two people for your first threesome, itโs always a challenge. If youโre single, itโs relatively easy to find a couple that is looking for someone to have a threesome with. Post a request on SwingersTaboo in activity page or Groups. Another tip is to go to a swingers club. Especially single women are very wanted there. The benefit of meeting someone in person is that you immediately know if youโre attracted to them. If youโre looking for a third person together with your partner, you can also book an escort. The main advantage of this is that it avoids jealousy and romantic feelings involving the third person.
Ideal: everyone is attracted to each other
Itโs important to realise that having a threesome isnโt romantic. It takes a lot of effort, concentration, and stamina. Your mouth wonโt be closed most of the time, there are plenty of holes that need to be filled, and your hands are everywhere all the time. If you want to make your first threesome a success, then make sure everyone is attracted to each other. The best threesomes involve a lot of chemistry between all three people. The most important aspect is that you feel completely comfortable. By the way, not everyone has to have sex with everone. For example, youโre a woman and your partner is a man. Youโd like to have a threesome with your partner and another man. That doesnโt mean that the men also have to have sex with each other. I speak from experience when I say that two men can be intimate without touching each other. Obviously, they can have sex if they want to. Itโs also possible that youโre very curious about what it would be like to touch another woman, so you can invite a woman that both you and your partner have sex with.
A Threesome with 2 Males is called “MMF” or “MFM”
The risk of inviting a friend for a threesome
As the title suggests: inviting a friend to join you and your partner in a threesome comes with certain risks. The main problem is jealousy. Especially when one of you receives more attention than the other. Do you want to watch your man get aroused by your best friend and then continue your friendship with her? What if your friend and your partner develop romantic feelings for each other? Of course, inviting a friend isnโt always a negative experience: itโs always good to know exactly who you invite into your home and you already trust your friend. Discuss the rules of the threesome beforehand with your partner. Then discuss them with the friend you invited to join the adventure. Also ask him or her about their wishes or conditions. This way you can prevent arguments and negative feelings that might come up afterwards as much as possible. It would be a shame to let a threesome ruin your friendship.
Agree on the rules
If youโre going to have a threesome for the first time, you might feel very nervous. Discuss the rules with all participants beforehand. The thought that you know exactly what to expect and what not to expect can help calm your nerves. Also talk about what youโre going to do afterwards: are you going to have a drink together, will everyone stay overnight, or are you โ or is anyone else โ going home immediately? The location is also important: do you want to invite the third person into your home, are you going to the house of the other couple, or are you going to a hotel? Talking about your threesome is important in any case. Express your wishes, fantasies, and concerns. This will help you feel relaxed before and during the threesome.
Is the threesome a secret?
An important question to ask is whether or not the threesome is a secret. If you donโt want anyone to know about it, or your partner or the third person wants to keep it a secret, itโs good to talk about this beforehand. Then everyone can agree on the rules, which is especially important when the threesome involves a close friend.
When a Threesome has 2 Women and 1 Man is called “FFM” or “FMF”
You can always say no
Having a threesome for the first time is a leap of faith. If it has been one of your naughtiest fantasies and itโs about to come true, you will feel all the emotions and hormones rage in your body. But what if you find out it isnโt your cup of tea after all? Thatโs okay, talk about it. Nobody wants you to feel uncomfortable. Even during sex you can mention you donโt want to do something. Are you scared to speak up? Try to remember that the other two people want you to have fun as well. After all, that is what a threesome is all about.
A good way to start a threesome
If youโre going to experience a threesome for the first time, youโre probably very nervous. Go out for dinner first or have a drink together. Create a sensual ambience in your house or hotel room with candles and music. You can dance, talk, or watch an erotic video together. The erotic tension will be there soon enough when someone takes the initiative. You can also perform a striptease in front of the others, or you can massage each other. Make sure all three of you get in the right mood.
What do you need for your first threesome?
There are a couple of things that are good to have on hand during a threesome. These products can help you make the experience even better:
First things first: lubricant. This is the basis of comfortable sex;
Massage oil or massage candles: create a sensual and relaxed ambience in the bedroom;
Lingerie: to make you feel confident and sexy, so you can on top of your flirting game;
Sex toys: especially a vibrator is a fun tool if there are two women in your threesome;
And of course: condoms.
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A threesome for the first time: experience
At some point, I somewhat unexpectedly ended up in a threesome myself after a night out with my lover and his friend. My lover aroused me (obviously). And the feeling of four hands on my body? That aroused me as well. But is was also confusing. You really have to concentrate if youโre having sex with two men at the same time. And I thought my lover was more attractive than his friend, and since they both only had sex with me, not with each other, it was a little too much to handle after all. I guess you cam say the idea was more exciting than the actual experience. Eventually I kicked the friend out of bed and my lover stayed. I definitely want to have a threesome again, but with a different third person.
Threesome: always have safe sex
Safe sex is always important. Maybe you and your partner donโt use condoms anymore, but if youโre inviting a third person to join, condoms are a must. Then you can keep it safe for everyone involved. Having sex with two partners involves changing the condom whenever you switch from one partner to the other. This can be a hassle, but itโs for the greater good: your own health and the health of your bed partners.
