A couple, who wish to remain anonymous, agreed to answer some quick questions about their way of understanding swinging.
We love and respect everyone’s point of view and this is theirs that we publish to you
HOW LONG HAVE YOU AND YOUR PARTNER BEEN INVOLVED IN THE SWINGER LIFE STYLE?
About three years.
HOW LONG HAVE THE TWO OF YOU BEEN TOGETHER?
Twenty years.
ARE YOU A HETEROSEXUAL OR HOMOSEXUAL COUPLE OR DOES IT MATTER?
Strictly heterosexual. We will have threesomes but everything is done on a “straight” basis. Ex-for Mfm, all male attention on me, fmf, all female attention on him.
HOW DO YOU NOT GET JEALOUS OR HOW DO YOU HANDLE JEALOUSY FROM YOUR PARTNER?
We just kinda let the jealousy go. We know we’ll always be together, we love each other and desire each other very much so jealousy isn’t really a thing. We enjoy seeing the other enjoy themselves. It’s fun, there’s no jealousy or ill feelings towards anyone but also, everyone must be comfortable with each other. We’ve never put ourselves in a position that would leave the other feeling anything but comfortable.
WHAT IS THE APPEAL OF SWINGING? LIKE I MENTIONED ABOVE, IS IT BECAUSE OF SOMETHING YOUR PARTNER IS MISSING?
The appeal… seeing the other enjoying themselves, a “view” you wouldn’t normally be provided, having the ability to “look” without feeling guilty, even if it’s nothing more than checking someone out. I mean we all look when we see someone attractive, it’s the freedom to do that with no guilt attached, being able to act on that desire without “cheating” if it comes to that.
WHAT ARE COMMON COMPLICATIONS THAT COME UP?
Our main issue is time. Between work and life, it really doesn’t leave a lot of time for it, which is fine. We don’t do it often and it can be difficult to find a person/couple where everyone clicks. A lot of couples have jealousy issues, especially women and a more so than not, the women can be bitchy or have an “in all that” kind of attitude
HOW DO YOU MEET OTHER COUPLES?
Were on a few sites, aff, sls and tinder to name a few. People are hard to find IMO, if you have any kind of standards… and once you find someone/people, it becomes a do we all jive together thing and that’s more often no than yes.
DO YOU GUYS HAVE RULES IN PLACE?
Our rules-we always play “safe” and we only do things together.
HOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND SOMEONE ‘DIPS THEIR TOES’ INTO THE WATER OF THE SWINGING WORLD AND APPROACH THEIR PARTNER WITH SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
To approach it is difficult… most people aren’t open to the idea… it’s really a relationship by relationship kind of thing. My first tip would be to be in a strong, loving, trusting relationship that has open lines of communication.
HAS SWINGING EVER BEEN A REGRETTABLE THING/THREATENED YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND IF IT WAS, HOW DID YOU GUYS PUT WHAT HAPPENED BEHIND YOU TO CONTINUE DOING IT?
No, it hasn’t. We’ve always respected each other wishes, wants, likes and dislikes and we can literally talk about anything openly without anyone getting angry or upset or hurt.
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MEET A NEW COUPLE FOR THE FIRST TIME?
When we meet someone new, we always do a “meet and greet” type thing. Go out and grab drinks or an appetizer, whatever’s clever and sit down and chat for an hour or two, just seeing how well everyone gets along. We do try to get to know each but on a basic level, we don’t dive into our deepest secrets or anything.
WHAT IS THE MOST COMMON MISCONCEPTION OF BEING A SWINGER COUPLE?
I think the most common misconception is that swingers have sex with anyone, anywhere, anytime. And while that may be true for some, it is not for us. We don’t consider ourselves in an “open” relationship. To me that implies anything goes. We swing as a couple. We’ve been doing this for 3yrs, we’ve met up with two other couples, two single guys and a single girl.
IS THIS SOMETHING THAT YOU TAKE PART IN AS A GROUP OR DO YOU GO OFF SEPARATELY AND DO YOUR THING?
I may have answered this above, but we chat online or thru text, however, then we plan a meet and greet. If that goes well, we setup a later date to “play”. If it’s a couple, it’s same room the whole time, there may be switching back and forth, always play safe. If it’s Mfm or fmf, it’s more of a take turns scenario. While sometimes it’s both guys/girls have things going on, it’s really kinda hard to take of two guys/girls at once. It’s nothing like porn portrays at allllll.
ANY ADVICE OR ANYTHING YOU’D LIKE SOMEONE WHO IS UNFAMILIAR WITH SWINGING TO KNOW?
It’s not for everyone, women tend to get jealous even if they think they won’t, making sure everyone is totally comfortable with each other is very important, open communication lines and set boundaries are very important and need to be thoroughly discussed. Agree before you start that if either wants to stop at anytime, it will all stop and no one will harbor ill feelings.
Not sure about you guys, but I definitely learned some new things from this couple. I wanted to take a minute and thank them for replying to my request and taking the time to answer these honestly and give us a peek into their lifestyle.
Whether you’re planning to host orgies soon or at a later date — or are merely curious about what throwing amazing sex parties entail — you need not look any further. Here’s everything you need to know.
If you are a sophisticated individual, you will also love new experimentation in sex.
Therefore, we assume that having the same one on one sex with the same person everyday might make you become sick and tired after some times. You can come out of this rut when you indulge in group sex.
However, some rules are integral in order to experience the right fun from group sex. Here are these rules.
Rule 1: Select your comfort level
As you are indulging in group based sexual extravaganza for the first time, you may feel uncomfortable in the beginning.
We admit that doing something openly that is usually private will make you a bit awkward. Therefore, it is important to choose your group size first.
It is always better to try out group sex in a swingers party by gathering around some of your friends who are as equally experimental about sex as you are.
Rule 2: Know yourself and your desires
As you are planning to indulge in group sex, you have to take into account the sexual desires of each of the group members so that you are courteous in group activity.
Situations might become uncomfortable for you as a beginner such as multiple guys banging a single girl, making love in the bondage rooms, etc. might appear a bit awkward to you.
Therefore, the next rule for a beginner is to have an open talk with your group members about the types of sexual desires that you wish to fulfill. In case they suggest something different which is new to you, ask them if they will assist you during the final act.
Be a part of that group only when you find that you will get proper cooperation.
Rule 3: Choose a leader
The rule of thumb of group sex is that every member should be given equal sexual preference.
Nevertheless, choosing an experienced guy among you who will head the group will be ideal when you take part in group based sexual ecstasy for the first time.
This is because there are some key tricks of the game that might not be known to you as you are inexperienced in the matter.
For instance, you might not have proper idea to make the group feel pleased. You might not be aware of the parameters that need to be kept in mind while choosing the group size. You might be inexperienced in erotic moves that are perfect for a group event like this.
Fortunately, the experienced group leader will have a concise idea about all these aspects.
A threesome, also known as a trio or ménage à trois (French for a household of three), is when three people have sex together. It’s not the same as group sex, which generally refers to sex acts involving four or more people at the same time. The way people feel about threesomes varies widely based on their experiences, ideas they have about sex, and cultural influences. While the idea is exciting for some, it’s scary or unappealing to others. Understanding the dynamics of a healthy three-way, and the potential risks and benefits, can help you decide whether you might be interested in trying one or if this type of sexual exploration isn’t for you.
Having a threesome for the first time often starts with a fantasy. Have you been dreaming about having sex with two people at the same time? There are a couple of things to consider. Do you have a partner who is interested in having a threesome? Or do you want to join a couple? And how do you go about asking for a threesome? If you want to make your fantasy come true, we’ve got a couple of good tips for you to make your first threesome experience a great success.
First time threesome: talk about it with your partner
Be open about your fantasies with your partner. If you want to experience a threesome for the first time and you want to do this with your partner, then tell them. It can be scary if you don’t know how your partner feels about it and what their reaction will be. Be clear about why you want a threesome: is it a one-time bucketlist experience or do you want to make your sex life more exciting? Explain your reasons well and ask your partner how they feel about having a threesome. Talk about the advantages, but also about the concerns. If your partner says no, respect their decision and let it rest for now. I say ‘for now’ because sometimes your lover simply needs some time to get used to the idea.
Heineken Threesome Commercial “Share one with your friend”
Where do you find partners for a threesome?
Whether you’re looking for one or two people for your first threesome, it’s always a challenge. If you’re single, it’s relatively easy to find a couple that is looking for someone to have a threesome with. Post a request on SwingersTaboo in activity page or Groups. Another tip is to go to a swingers club. Especially single women are very wanted there. The benefit of meeting someone in person is that you immediately know if you’re attracted to them. If you’re looking for a third person together with your partner, you can also book an escort. The main advantage of this is that it avoids jealousy and romantic feelings involving the third person.
Ideal: everyone is attracted to each other
It’s important to realise that having a threesome isn’t romantic. It takes a lot of effort, concentration, and stamina. Your mouth won’t be closed most of the time, there are plenty of holes that need to be filled, and your hands are everywhere all the time. If you want to make your first threesome a success, then make sure everyone is attracted to each other. The best threesomes involve a lot of chemistry between all three people. The most important aspect is that you feel completely comfortable. By the way, not everyone has to have sex with everone. For example, you’re a woman and your partner is a man. You’d like to have a threesome with your partner and another man. That doesn’t mean that the men also have to have sex with each other. I speak from experience when I say that two men can be intimate without touching each other. Obviously, they can have sex if they want to. It’s also possible that you’re very curious about what it would be like to touch another woman, so you can invite a woman that both you and your partner have sex with.
A Threesome with 2 Males is called “MMF” or “MFM”
The risk of inviting a friend for a threesome
As the title suggests: inviting a friend to join you and your partner in a threesome comes with certain risks. The main problem is jealousy. Especially when one of you receives more attention than the other. Do you want to watch your man get aroused by your best friend and then continue your friendship with her? What if your friend and your partner develop romantic feelings for each other? Of course, inviting a friend isn’t always a negative experience: it’s always good to know exactly who you invite into your home and you already trust your friend. Discuss the rules of the threesome beforehand with your partner. Then discuss them with the friend you invited to join the adventure. Also ask him or her about their wishes or conditions. This way you can prevent arguments and negative feelings that might come up afterwards as much as possible. It would be a shame to let a threesome ruin your friendship.
Agree on the rules
If you’re going to have a threesome for the first time, you might feel very nervous. Discuss the rules with all participants beforehand. The thought that you know exactly what to expect and what not to expect can help calm your nerves. Also talk about what you’re going to do afterwards: are you going to have a drink together, will everyone stay overnight, or are you – or is anyone else – going home immediately? The location is also important: do you want to invite the third person into your home, are you going to the house of the other couple, or are you going to a hotel? Talking about your threesome is important in any case. Express your wishes, fantasies, and concerns. This will help you feel relaxed before and during the threesome.
Is the threesome a secret?
An important question to ask is whether or not the threesome is a secret. If you don’t want anyone to know about it, or your partner or the third person wants to keep it a secret, it’s good to talk about this beforehand. Then everyone can agree on the rules, which is especially important when the threesome involves a close friend.
When a Threesome has 2 Women and 1 Man is called “FFM” or “FMF”
You can always say no
Having a threesome for the first time is a leap of faith. If it has been one of your naughtiest fantasies and it’s about to come true, you will feel all the emotions and hormones rage in your body. But what if you find out it isn’t your cup of tea after all? That’s okay, talk about it. Nobody wants you to feel uncomfortable. Even during sex you can mention you don’t want to do something. Are you scared to speak up? Try to remember that the other two people want you to have fun as well. After all, that is what a threesome is all about.
A good way to start a threesome
If you’re going to experience a threesome for the first time, you’re probably very nervous. Go out for dinner first or have a drink together. Create a sensual ambience in your house or hotel room with candles and music. You can dance, talk, or watch an erotic video together. The erotic tension will be there soon enough when someone takes the initiative. You can also perform a striptease in front of the others, or you can massage each other. Make sure all three of you get in the right mood.
What do you need for your first threesome?
There are a couple of things that are good to have on hand during a threesome. These products can help you make the experience even better:
First things first: lubricant. This is the basis of comfortable sex;
Massage oil or massage candles: create a sensual and relaxed ambience in the bedroom;
Lingerie: to make you feel confident and sexy, so you can on top of your flirting game;
Sex toys: especially a vibrator is a fun tool if there are two women in your threesome;
And of course: condoms.
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A threesome for the first time: experience
At some point, I somewhat unexpectedly ended up in a threesome myself after a night out with my lover and his friend. My lover aroused me (obviously). And the feeling of four hands on my body? That aroused me as well. But is was also confusing. You really have to concentrate if you’re having sex with two men at the same time. And I thought my lover was more attractive than his friend, and since they both only had sex with me, not with each other, it was a little too much to handle after all. I guess you cam say the idea was more exciting than the actual experience. Eventually I kicked the friend out of bed and my lover stayed. I definitely want to have a threesome again, but with a different third person.
Threesome: always have safe sex
Safe sex is always important. Maybe you and your partner don’t use condoms anymore, but if you’re inviting a third person to join, condoms are a must. Then you can keep it safe for everyone involved. Having sex with two partners involves changing the condom whenever you switch from one partner to the other. This can be a hassle, but it’s for the greater good: your own health and the health of your bed partners.
According to a recent study, half of men think about sex up to twenty times a day. The other half, on the other hand, thinks about it only once, but for sixteen consecutive hours
